Life Lessons (learned on my twin sister and my 2-month roadtrip across the U.S. in 2002)

• All roads lead to somewhere.
• Take Old Farmer's advice.
• Never travel without an updated atlas.
• If camping locally, buy local map.
• It's never too late to turn around.
• Curiosity may get you lost (if that's what you're looking for).
• If you do get curious: paved and numbered roads will lead you to the interstate.
• 2-lane country roads are 55 mph. Even when it doesn't say so.
  
• On an atlas, a grey road is always more fun than a blue road, but not as efficient as a pink road.
  
• Do not get a haircut at a beauty school in an Anchorage, AK strip mall.
• If you find yourself in the Anchorage, AK strip mall beauty school, do not get the haircut if it is under $10.
• Never bring a pet chihuahua to a club.
• If you must bring your pet chihuahua to a club, DO NOT EAT.
• Curb drunk dialing.
  
• If you do drunk dial and violent hiccuping begins, hang up the phone.
• If someone asks you if you're in the film crew, YOU SAY YES!
• Always have a spare pair of clean underwear hidden in a secret place.
• Remember secret place.
• Playing Blackjack with a Pinochle deck will yield the highest ratio of 21. Ever.
  
• Gentlemen come in all shapes and sizes.
• If the kitchen is dirty (and you can SEE it), don't eat there.
• If you can get can a free tutu, take it.